Firefly's Hurt Too

If the situation weren't so unfortunate, this might be humorous.

This is Flare, Ember's twin sparktressling. Firefly would be posting, but...Well, may I tell you a short story?

Ember is a very good kachina. I'm sure she's bragged about it before on here. She's really quite arrogant about it, you know. (Sorry, Em, just being honest.) She is talented, though. The Fire Lord always watches her more than any of us. So lately, he's been missing her. You can tell he doesn't get as much entertainment out of us. Today he snapped. Flicker accidentally hit Sparkle in the eye, and Sparkle fell into me, and I tripped and brought Firefly down. The Fire Lord was unbelievably angry and shouted that Ember wouldn't have fallen. He stood up and started throwing fireballs at Firefly. She's the oldest and supposed to be the lead kachina (although Ember's quite bossy so it's really more like her), so whenever we do something wrong she gets blamed. I felt terrible and tried to help her, but Comet and Sparkle told me not to move. The Fire Lord was going to beat Firefly anyway, it would make no sense to get beaten myself. I didn't want to listen to them, but I was very upset and afraid and so I did.

Firefly is in a pretty bad way and she's upset with Ember, seeing how this is all sort of her fault. If she had just followed the rules she wouldn't be lying in bed with a raw back. And if she weren't such a bossy peacock all the time, it'd be easier to feel sorry for her.

I do feel sorry for her though. She's in a lot of pain and I do love her. I feel worse for Firefly though. This wasn't Firefly's fault and she's still being blamed.

The worst part is that now we don't have a lead kachina. Firefly counts beats and decides what routine we'll do. I guess, being the oldest of us four left, it'll be me now, but I've never been confident about all this. I hate our costumes, they make me feel...exposed. I'm not comfortably with the whole thing. I don't know what we'll do.

Keep Ember and Firefly in your thoughts.

Commands, Coal, and Caught! A Very Long Post, But Worth Your Time, I Think

I spied.

I may never do it again.

We awoke the sound of the alarm gong, loud and clear.

You know those certain sounds that make your skin crawl, your stomach jump, and something at the back of your mind just flinch? The warning gong is one of those sounds. It means one of three things:

1. The Palace is under attack.
2. Someone inside the Palace has been arrested.
3. The Fire Lord wants to see everyone front and center.

There are different patterns for different emergencies. After flying awake in a mild panic, my first response was deadly quiet, listening for the gong sequence...

The Fire Lord was summoning all Palace slaves.

If you don't know this already, when the Fire Lord calls you to do something, you do it before he's even finished his command. Of course, this command was a bit harder to fulfill on the part of us kachinas; we not only have to react quickly with the rest of the slaves, we're expected to look good while we do.

I've never dressed and combed my hair that quickly. I opted to omit the makeup, which still takes us five minutes at least, even with years of practice. (For all you who are interested in what our daily makeup looks like, click HERE and HERE. Of course, it's more elaborate for special occasions: HERE and HERE.)

After throwing on some clothes, we ran down the hall and into the dining hall. Most of the other slaves were already there. So was the Fire Lord. He so rarely comes into the slave areas; everyone's eyes were green (except the spies', of course).

I won't bore you with the details; in short, the Fire Lord forbade anyone from leaving their quarters until further notice. No one dared to ask how we were to eat, though I'm sure we were all wondering. The Fire Lord didn't even make an exception for spies. That surprised everyone, especially the spies. Their usually unreadable faces held hints of irritations and suspicion.

The Fire Lord dismissed us, and we all hurried back to our rooms.

"Do you think this has anything to do with the strangers?" Sparkle asked, the moment we were back in the kachina keep.

"Of course it does!" I cried impatiently, sitting on the bed. I glanced at myself in the mirror and made a face. I hate how I look without makeup. I've worn it everyday for so long I feel naked without it. I got up and began applying eyeliners and paint.

Firefly rolled her eyes. "Ember, we aren't going to see anyone for goodness-knows-how-long. Your pretty face will be quite wasted."

"Yes, we won't be seeing Coal," Flare said, her voice taunting. I snarled at her and went back to tracing my eyes.

"How are we supposed to get food?" Sparkle grumbled. "I'm already hungry."

"You don't suppose there's any danger, do you?" Flicker asked nervously.

"I expect there's some," Firefly answered, eying my makeup with a frown. "Ember, really, you're using up valuable paint."

I ignored her. I suddenly realized why I was putting on makeup.

I was going out, of course.

I did not intend to follow the Fire Lord's command for once in my life. I was curious, too curious to bear, and I was not going to miss whatever excitement was out there.

"I bet the strangers are..." Sparkle murmured. She didn't really have an answer, we all knew that. She thinks out loud a good deal. We've all learned to ignore her. If she wants us to acknowledge her, she has no problem screaming so in our ears.

"Long-lost relatives," Flare suggested, a gleam in her eye. "The Fire Lord has family!"

We all stared at her with incredulous expressions.

"Really, Flare, everyone knows what happened to the Fire Lord's family," I said with disgust. Flare frowned and shrugged.

"I was only speculating," she insisted. "Where's your sense of fun?"

I smiled inwardly. Oh, I planned to have some fun.

Before long, I finished applying my daily makeup and eyed the window causally. Our room is on the ground floor. The Palace is only one floor except the dungeons below and a tower on either end of the building. The curtains fluttered in the light breeze. (We have shutters, but we only use them in the rain.)

"I have to...um...you know what I mean," I said awkwardly, looking at the window pointedly. Firefly saw through that right away.

"What are you talking about, Ember? We've been here all of a quarter shadowmark," she said. I shrugged.

"My body doesn't tell time," I retorted simply, walking over to the window. "I'll only be a minute."

"Ember!" cried Flare, her eyes gleaming. "What if someone sees you?" She giggled. "What if Coal sees you?"

For a moment, my eyes actually flashed to green.

Oh, really, Ember, I scolded myself. You know very well you aren't really planning to "relieve yourself". I shrugged. "I'll have to risk it."

I leaped easily over the sill (it comes to about my waist) and dropped the yard or so to the ground.

"What if you get caught?" I heard Flicker hiss. Without replying, I took off at a dead run. I didn't know where I was going exactly, but I ended up under the spies' window.

I'm not sure how long I expected that to last. Definitely not as long as it did...

Asher: "I don't know why the Fire Lord's restricted us as well. We already know everything that's happening anyway."

Blaze: *snort* "Keep your mouth shut, Asher. You only know what we want you to."

Coal: (sharply) "Hi! Are we all spies together or aren't we? Leave him be, Blaze, we're all disappointed."

Blaze: (bitter) "You leave me be."

Silence.

Asher: "Do you suppose this has got anything to do with--"

Coal: "Asher, you've got to start connecting the dots for yourself."

Silence.

Asher: "Well, do you??"

Blaze and Coal: (sharp) "YES."

Silence.

Blaze: "Stop fidgeting, Asher, by the Fire Lord, you've got to learn to hide your feelings. In a real situation you'd be discovered faster than a kachina in a barnyard!"

Coal: "Can you really blame him? Waiting on the outside is awfully difficult."

Blaze: "I don't mean to speak unchecked, but I believe this may have something to do with..."

Coal: "The Pale One."

The Pale One??

Blaze: "Yes."

Coal: "Yes."

Blaze: "You know?"

Coal: "I presume."

Blaze: "Dangerous."

Coal: "What isn't?"

Asher: "What?"

Silence.

Blaze: "So those sparkers and man must be...after all this time..."

Coal: "...they found what they were looking for."

Blaze: "So I presume."

Coal: "Are we to stay here?"

Blaze: "Is that question in honest?"

Asher: "What are you talking about??"

Coal: *snickers* "I say--"

He stopped. My blood ran cold.

I heard the sound of a small spark popping. I swallowed. The spies sometimes use some sort of spark-code to communicate when words will not do.

A few spark-pops answered. I pressed myself against the outside wall. I would have run, but living around Coal had taught me one thing: when in doubt, stay still.

My heart pounded. My eyes pulsed bright green. My palms chilled.

Suddenly I was aware of the shadow moving across my head. Swallowing hard, I could take the suspense no longer. I looked up into Coal's face, staring at me from the window. Anger would have been easier to take; the perfect stoniness was worse. He disappeared for a moment and then jumped the windowsill, landing lightly right in front of me. Blaze was right behind him. I tried to stare back at them with the same coldness they mastered, but I knew my eyes were still green.

Coal spoke, "What. The devil. Are. You. Doing here."

Just like that, I felt foolish.

"There are too many questions and not enough answers of late. I wanted to fix that."

"By directly defying the Fire Lord," Coal finished. I shuddered. Yes, that was obvious. And now Coal would turn me in. Of course he would. It was his duty.

"Well, what were you plotting to do?" I snapped. Coal's face was unreadable.

"I don't know what you mean."

My lip curled. "Of course you don't. The injustice of this entire situation. You will report me to the Fire Lord for doing precisely what you were intending to do. Of course, if I were to attempt to turn you in, the Fire Lord wouldn't believe me."

A hint of humor crept into Coal's eyes. "Yes. Now forget everything you heard about our sweethearts and go back to your room. I'll tell the Fire Lord about your little misdemeanor when all this is over."

"Sweethearts!" I scoffed. "Unless one of your sparktressfriends' name is 'the Pale One' I--"

Me and my big mouth. Coal's eyebrow shot up as he heard exactly what he was fishing for. He nodded slowly.

"So that's where you came in." Even with all his spy training, a hint of anger tinted his tone. "We'll be sure to mention that to our Lord as well. I'm sure he'll have some way of making certain you don't forget your place next time. Go."

I swallowed my pride as much as I could and ran.

What a truly horrible day this has been. I had to tell the other kachinas what happened, but I kept the information about "the Pale One" to myself. I'm not completely suicidal, you know.

I do not even want to think about what will happen when Coal tells the Fire Lord about all this. Coal is wonderful, but unfailingly loyal to the Fire Lord in every way. When he is in spy mode, there is little I fear more.

Coward

I know it's been another long time. I'm sorry. I'm still not sure what's going on the Palace. I've been doing too much talking and not enough doing. I've got to really start snooping.

Coal and Blaze have been back for a few weeks now. They're so different. Whatever is amiss in the Palace is making them act strangely. Coal is back, but it's almost like he's still not here. He doesn't look at us kachinas, talk to us, even smile at us anymore. And there's some new sparktress slave who's after him. I don't know what happened to him in Brightwood, but he's different and horrible. I haven't even attempted to ask him what's going on. I'm sure he wouldn't tell me, if he even answered me at all.

I got upset at a little kachina-in-training last week. She was being unbearably defiant and telling me I was dancing wrong.

Yes, she said that to me. After four hours of her rubbing on my nerves, her accusing me of dancing wrong was the last straw. I ended up yelling at her and making her stay after training to do extra conditioning. No one much cared (except her, of course), but now we're apparently mortal enemies. The little seven-year-old is making my life miserable. She talks constantly during training, refuses to do steps right, and her form is so terrible even Coal could see it! If she ever wants to get anywhere as a kachina, she had better improve awfully quickly. I'm not sure she knows what happens to unless kachinas...I'm not even sure I know...

Tensions, tensions, tensions. I'm curious, but also cowardly. I never thought of myself as being cowardly before, but the idea of actually sneaking around the Palace spying makes my stomach knot. I've no idea what would happen to me if I were caught. I'm sure I don't want to find out...

I'm such a miserable, impatient coward. As usual, any and every comment is welcome.

Determined

It's been a long time yet again. I'm sorry.

Coal and Blaze not back yet, but they should be back within the week. Hooray! I haven't gotten used to his not being around. I miss him.

There is a growing sense of discontent in the Palace. Everyone can feel it, no one can pin-point why or when it started. Executions of peasants are coming at an absolutely alarming rate. Every couple of weeks someone is executed. The spies are poking into everything, in the Palace as well as the village. I've completely given up on keeping a journal, this blog is all I have now. Nothing is secret, nothing is safe.

I can't figure it out. I haven't heard any talk against the Fire Lord lately any more than I have before. Everyone respects and fears him as always. There doesn't seem to be a reason for all the sneaking around and knotting stomachs.

I must assume then that the Fire Lord is doing a remarkable job of keeping the issue secret. Something must be wrong. Unease, executions, and unexplain arrests don't just happen, there's a reason. What's going on?

I know it isn't my business.
I know I should pry into the Fire Lord's affairs.
I know these things are best left to spies and soldiers.
I know good sparktresses don't meddle in things like this.
I know I've been raised better than this.
I know.
I know.
I KNOW.

But I'm curious. Maybe that's a bad thing, maybe it's a good thing, maybe it's just a thing. But I'm going to get to the bottom of all this ridiculous strife if it kills me.

I Miss Coal

I.

Miss.

Coal.

Blazings.

Is it too much to expect him to send a letter to the poor kachinas stuck in the Palace with nothing to do except dance for the Fire Lord who is always ungrateful and in a bad mood?

*looks horrified*

Did I just say that?

The Fire Lord isn't really ungrateful or in a bad mood, he's just under tremendous pressures lately. I'm guessing. No one will tell the poor ignorant kachinas anything. We're just here to dance and look good and keep quiet and out of the way.

*looks horrified again*

Not that I don't love being a kachina. I really, truly, honestly do. Dancing is the most wonderful thing in the world. It fills me with adrenaline, joy and helps me think deeper thoughts. Moving with the music is like feeling my heart beat. The feeling when I preform a difficult move is like no other. I love being a kachina. I do. I DO.

I just don't like dancing for the Fire Lord.

No, I do. I love the Fire Lord. I guess. I don't know. He just hasn't been very lovable lately. Maybe I would understand if someone would tell us things, but no one tells us anything around here. I hate being uninformed. At least Coal would tell us the general idea of what was going on.

I miss him so much. So much. It's the first thing I realize when I wake up in the morning, the last thing I think about at night. We haven't seen him since the middle of August. That's three weeks! You can't possibly understand how awful it is without him. It's terrible.

And NO, I am NOT in love with him. I am not.

I know this post wasn't anything new, but I felt like I ought to say something.

If you read this, do you have any advice? How can I stop missing Coal so much? How can I get to accept the fact that we're just kachinas for the Fire Lord and no one tells us anything?

(I don't think I will ever accept that, actually. Never. I don't think I even want to try. We're fire fairies, too, even though we're just slave kachinas! We have just as much right to speak up as anyone! Don't we? Do we?)

Chaos! Catastrophe!

This is exactly what Flame looks like, only he's obviously not in an iceland, but more like fireland and he doesn't wield a giant snow ax...

I apologize for not posting recently, but Palace life has just been one catastrophe after another.

Catastrophes:

1. Comet got very sick (she's doing alright now).
2. Three more peasants (two humans, one fire fairy) were executed.
3. The Fire Lord got sick.
4. Star Dancer got sick.
5. Flare got sick.
6. A stable sparker asked Flicker if she would court him (we had to say no on her behalf because she was speechless).
7. I got beaten twice in one day, first by the Fire Lord, then by Flame. I might have deserved Flame hurling fireballs at me, though. I did tell his sparktress-friend some things best left unsaid...*grins mischeivously*
8. Coal and Blaze got deported to Brightwood to spy for a while.
9. Life without Coal is horrible.
10. Asher got sick.

Some sort of plague is breaking lose in Furier. It's not deadly, just makes its victim bedridden for a couple of days. So far Flicker, Firefly and I are the only sparktresses in the Palace that haven't contracted it.

Having Coal gone is worse than we all thought it would be. I miss him just coming by and joking with us, and I especially missed him when Flame was chasing me through the halls of the Palace...

So, over all, life is not doing me any favors. Everyone is either in a bad mood or getting sick.

Thanks for reading, hope your lives are going better than mine.

Sparkanniversaries

Coal's sparkanniversary is in 12 days. *smiles* We kachinas are trying to think of a way to celebrate it. I don't know if the Fire Lord will do anything special for him. Sometimes the Fire Lord will honor his slaves' sparkanniversaries if they're a favorite of his, or if they've done something noteworthy lately.

The Fire Lord usually celebrates Coal's sparkanniversary for both reasons. Coal is so ridiculously charismatic that everyone likes him, and he's almost always uncovering something secret for the Fire Lord.

On the other hand, the Fire Lord has been in a funny mood ever since the execution a week or so ago. No one knows why he had the peasant executed except for a few important slaves. The Fire Lord has been edgy and distracted this week. He beat Flicker yesterday, and Flare the day before. I'm more frightened of him than ever. I don't know what I'll do to set him off.

Back on the lighter note, if you have any suggestions of ways to celebrate Coal's special day on the 14th, let me know!

Blaze

Sorry it's been a while again. I sort of stopped posting because no one reads this, and it's a pain to write down on here if no one is going to read it. Not complaining, just saying.

On the other hand, this is the one place I can put my thoughts that only the kachinas can read. Coal can't read this, Flame can't read this, Star Dancer can't read this, the Fire Lord can't read this. It's nice to have somewhere private.

Especially after what happened yesterday.

What happened yesterday, you ask? (Well, you didn't ask because you didn't read this, but I'll just pretend someone does.)

Blaze found my journal, and read it.

I'm so upset! That sneaky, coniving, no-good, nosey, SPY! (He actually is a spy.) He had no right to do that! There was no reason for him to! I hadn't been disrespecting the Fire Lord or plotting against him. Blaze had no right or reason to do what he did.

Of course he wouldn't be punished for it even if I went to the Fire Lord and told him. Blaze is a spy, which basically gives him free reign of everyone's everything (excepting the Fire Lord, of course).

All my secret thoughts (on everything from costumes to marriage), wishes, hopes, dreams, childhood crushes (including one on Coal), and bits of stories and poems I've written. He read it all! I can't even imagine why he would do that! Blaze isn't as good a friend to us kachinas as Coal is, but he's still our close friend and fellow Palace-dweller. What could his motives possibly be?

I found out when I caught him putting the journal back. I was shocked for two reasons.

Reason One: the Palace spies almost never get caught red-handed (unless they want to for some reason).

Reason Two: the obvious, he was holding my journal.

By look on his face when I cried out and flew for the journal made it clear that Blaze had not wanted to get caught.

"What are you doing?" I cried, lunging for the journal. I was surprised that I actually caught it, and snatched it from Blaze's fingers. I hugged the little scroll against my chest. "How could you? Did you read it?" Blaze blinked, then regained his composure.

"Of course I read it," he said indifferently. "It's my job to know what goes on in the Palace of Furier."

I scowled fiercely, my eyes glowing red. "That does not include prying into my personal affairs, Blaze! You had no right to do this!!" Blaze crossed his arms.

"I did have a right, kachina," he said, calling me by my occupation, something I hate. It's condescending the way he and the other sparkers say it when they're upset. "I have a right to look into anything I feel necessary. You know that."

"This was most certainly not necessary!" I shouted, stamping my foot. "What did you read? Tell me what you read this instant!" Blaze raised his eyebrows.

"I must tell you nothing," he said. "But since you asked so nicely, I'll tell you that I read it all. Every word, every inch."

Hot, angry tears filled my red eyes. I shouted all the insults I could think of, one after the other. Blaze actually seemed shocked at how angry I was, and it's hard to shock a spy. He just kind of shrugged and left the kachina keep. I slammed the door behind him and cried tears of pure rage for a while.

Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but it was to me. My journal was my one sanctuary, my one private place.

I told Coal what had happened later yesterday, and he actually sided with me. He can be so wonderful like that. He went and scolded Blaze something awful about behaving with integrity and a few other things that I never thought I'd hear Coal say in my defense.

That made me feel a lot better, because something about having Coal on one's side makes the whole world brighter.

Water Poisoning

I'm unfortunately not feeling very well at the moment. I have water poisoning.

I realize that you have no idea what that is for a fire fairy, so I'll explain it briefly. Since water is naturally detrimental to our health, it has to be "treated" with a special smoke chemical. There's a outlying section of Furier called the Smokers' Village where all the smokers live. Smokers are the fairies whose job it is to treat the water that fire fairies drink.

The water is put into buckets and the buckets are packed into huts with fire rings in the center of them. A fire made from some sort of special wood is lit and all the doors of the hut are completely shut and sealed. The water is left in the smokey hut for a day or two and then shipped wherever it is needed.

If a fire fairy bathes in untreated water, the effect is much like getting a cold. If a fire fairy drinks untreated water, something more like pneumonia develops. Usually drinking or bathing in untreated water is just a large inconvenience that lasts anywhere from a couple of days to a week (depending on the situation), but sometimes it is fatal.

The reason I have water poisoning is actually a bit embarrassing because it's my own fault. I was harassing Flame and he got fed up with me. He was standing right outside the supply closet near the torture chamber, so he just grabbed a glass of untreated water from in there and tossed it onto me.

I hate Flame. Always have, always will. He's so arrogant and mean to everyone. He tells horrible lies to the younger guards and slaves just to frighten them, and he's always telling the Fire Lord about things his fellow slaves are doing. He doesn't even know the meaning of loyalty except when it comes to the Fire Lord.

Flame really isn't so different from Coal actually, but somehow Coal is someone that everyone likes and respects while Flame is a hated bully.

I suppose it's all in how they come across. The two sparkers do a lot of the same things, but the way they do them is different. When Coal tells horror stories to the newbies, his eyes have this sparkle that tells you that he's only kidding around. When he reports something you did to the Fire Lord, it's usually out of duty and not out of spite or the desire to cause trouble.

A Bad Day

Today was horrible. Sparkle tripped while we were entertaining the Fire Lord, and he threw a fireball at her.

That isn't even the bad part.

The Fire Lord was in a terrible mood (Coal told us it had something to do with the unruly peasant), and he took it out on Sparkle. After he threw the fireball at her, she crumpled to the ground, instinctively pressing her fingertips (that's where our cooling shields are) to her arm where the fireball had hit. The rest of us went on dancing, because that's what we're trained to do. I couldn't help but watch Sparkle though. She was in so much pain, the kind of pain only a fireball thrown by the Fire Lord can cause.

It would have been okay if that had been the end of it, but the Fire Lord started yelling at Sparkle to get back up and keep dancing. When she tried and couldn't very well because of her arm, the Fire Lord threw more fireballs at her. She just curled into a ball on the floor and threw up her fireshield. Of course, the Fire Lord's power was too great and the fireballs went right through her shield.

He stood up and continued shouting at her and shooting little fire strands at her. We kept on dancing, but after a few more seconds of watching and hearing the Fire Lord torture Sparkle, I couldn't take it any more.

Before I knew what I was doing, I whirled around and put myself between Sparkle and the Fire Lord.

"Stay away from her!" I shouted. "She didn't do anything wrong!" I knew that wasn't true even as I said it. Sparkle had fallen, which demonstrates imperfection. The Fire Lord doesn't put up with imperfection, which is perfectly right and natural. I just wasn't thinking about that when I stood up to him. I was only thinking of Sparkle's screaming and how horrible it seemed for the Fire Lord to keep burning her.

Well, saying what I did was probably the worst thing for me to do. The Fire Lord did stay away from Sparkle; he came after me. Very slowly and almost calmly, but he came after me.

He burned me for much longer than he had Sparkle. In fact by the time he left me alone, the rest of the kachinas were gone and the throne room candles had been relit. The Fire Lord didn't order me to get up for another long while, for which I was grateful. I wouldn't have been able to make my legs support me, and that might have earned me another beating.

There is nothing quite like the pain of being tormented with fire. It's an excruciating feeling for so many reasons. Fire is a precious part of us fire fairies, so to have it used against us is like having your best friend betray you. It's also just a very painful way to be punished. I suppose even you humans can understand that, though I've never heard of your rulers using fire as a disciplinary method.

When I was able, the Fire Lord allowed me to nurse my wounds with my fireshield. That's when he asked me to stand. Then he explained why he'd punished Sparkle, and why he'd punished me: he has to maintain perfect discipline in the Palace. It's a Fire Lord's chief duty to protect his subjects, and the most effective way to do that is to ensure that every rule is always followed. If the Fire Lord were to allow some mistakes and defiances to go unpunished, pretty soon he'd be allowing the soldiers to take vacations and pillage the village at will.

It all made perfect sense to me when the Fire Lord was finished. I even agree with him. That doesn't mean I like feeling like I've been roasted alive, but I understand why the Fire Lord did it. He isn't cruel, he's just practical.

But I'm still lying on my bed with Sparkle wishing I felt good enough to go to the party a bunch of slaves are throwing.