Kachina Assisant?

I've been admitted back into kachina training to help the newbies. I am so upset. Instead of graduating out of the every day classes, now I have to go down to the lower level classes and teach little sparktresses how to do silly little things like splits and...well, let me use Earth terms for the other things, or you won't know what I'm talking about (although if you don't know much about dancing, you might not know what I'm talking about anyway).

Today, we worked on simple adagio routines, and one allegro. One poor sparktress (Scarlet) could not get her feet to land correctly in her fouette turns, and Blazette couldn't even do a proper pas de chat.

I don't know why I've been asked to help teach the younger ones, I'm certainly no more patient than the other. Actually, I'm sure I'm less patient. Firefly ought to be stuck teaching the brats, not me!

I grumbled about this to Firefly, and she huffily pointed out the I actually like being a kachina.

This is true.

I do like being a kachina. If I didn't dance, I don't know what I'd do. Dancing is the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, I suppose it's the only thing that's ever happened to me. I don't remember life before coming to the Palace hardly at all, and I've been told I started kachina training within a week of my arriving here (along with Flare and Firefly, my sparktresslings [sisters]). I suppose the Fire Lord saw a potential dancer in me and set me to learning the ropes right away.

Kachina training was hard from the beginning. Awake a 5am, begin training at 6am. Two hours of intense cardiovascular exercise (building endurance), and hour of stretching and flexibilty, two hours of toning and strength-building exercises, an hour of learning terms, break for the noon meal. Then two hours of education on fire streamers and how to get the colors and temperatures right. An hour of technique and general form, and the ten-hour day ended with a final hour of cardiovascular exercise.

Needless to say, by age seven, four years later, I could:

1. Do 1000 hundred sit-ups in a row without cramping
2. Do a 300 push-ups before I broke a sweat
3. Run around the entire Palace fifty times before I was even winded
4. Tell you how hot a fire strand needed to be for its coloring to be bluish-green
5. Walk across the training room on my hands
6. Do backflips, forward flips, dive rolls, and back hand-springs
7. Tell you precisely what an assemble croise derriere was

All of the above things were on the kachina examination I had to pass before age 8.

And I still love dancing.

Yes, I guess Firefly's right. Perhaps I am the best one for the trainer assistant job.

I Miss Coal

I.

Miss.

Coal.

Blazings.

Is it too much to expect him to send a letter to the poor kachinas stuck in the Palace with nothing to do except dance for the Fire Lord who is always ungrateful and in a bad mood?

*looks horrified*

Did I just say that?

The Fire Lord isn't really ungrateful or in a bad mood, he's just under tremendous pressures lately. I'm guessing. No one will tell the poor ignorant kachinas anything. We're just here to dance and look good and keep quiet and out of the way.

*looks horrified again*

Not that I don't love being a kachina. I really, truly, honestly do. Dancing is the most wonderful thing in the world. It fills me with adrenaline, joy and helps me think deeper thoughts. Moving with the music is like feeling my heart beat. The feeling when I preform a difficult move is like no other. I love being a kachina. I do. I DO.

I just don't like dancing for the Fire Lord.

No, I do. I love the Fire Lord. I guess. I don't know. He just hasn't been very lovable lately. Maybe I would understand if someone would tell us things, but no one tells us anything around here. I hate being uninformed. At least Coal would tell us the general idea of what was going on.

I miss him so much. So much. It's the first thing I realize when I wake up in the morning, the last thing I think about at night. We haven't seen him since the middle of August. That's three weeks! You can't possibly understand how awful it is without him. It's terrible.

And NO, I am NOT in love with him. I am not.

I know this post wasn't anything new, but I felt like I ought to say something.

If you read this, do you have any advice? How can I stop missing Coal so much? How can I get to accept the fact that we're just kachinas for the Fire Lord and no one tells us anything?

(I don't think I will ever accept that, actually. Never. I don't think I even want to try. We're fire fairies, too, even though we're just slave kachinas! We have just as much right to speak up as anyone! Don't we? Do we?)

Terrible

Sorry, SAge, for not posting! *laughs* I can't believe anyone actually likes reading about my life.

I didn't have much to say until a couple of days ago, but now I think I can think up enough for a post.

Well, it's beginning to cool off a bit in Furier. I've been spending a lot more time outside; the weather does feel nice, although I still prefer summertime, and I hate to see it leave.

Unfortunately, aside from the weather, things have not been going well in the Palace at all. The Fire Lord is so on edge of late that no one dares distrurb him for anything.

The sickness that was sweeping through Furier has not gotten worse, but it hasn't gotten better either. Flicker and Firefly got it last week, so now I'm the only one who hasn't gotten it. Hopefully it'll stay that way.

*moan* I'm sorry, but this is going to be a long, complaining post, I think.

Back to the Fire Lord being on edge. I think it's still because of the rebel peasants, but that was weeks ago! The Fire Lord has never seemed this upset about peasants before. And he took care of the resistance, right? So what is there to worry about? I haven't heard anything more about peasants wanting to rebel, so he ought to just relax. No one would dare oppose him, not seriously. It would be pure suicide! And he's not that bad, really. Strict, yes, but a ruler of such a great city MUST be strict. Mustn't they?

Blaze and Coal are still in Brightwood. Reports from them come every few days. As far as I can tell from snatches of conversations and gossip, the woodland elves in Brightwood are living and acting just as they always have been. They're supposed to be very small, rosy and cheerful and not like to make trouble. I haven't actually met one before, though, so I can't tell you first hand.

I do miss Coal. And Blaze, too, although I'm not sure I've completely forgiven him for reading my diary. I hope he hasn't told Coal that I used to think I was in love with him...Anyway, not having Coal around really is just terrible. The other kachinas don't seem to understand me when I say I miss him. I miss him coming around to talk to us; I miss being able to ask him questions about what's going on, or what something means; I miss knowing that as long as he's around, nothing will get past him (he knows everything about everyone. I don't see how it's possible); I miss him chasing us off when we try to spy on him; I miss everything about him!

And I am NOT in love with him! Don't even think that!

We also have a bunch of new kachinas. *rolls eyes* Like they can ever hope to replace us! We're getting better all the time, and that's not even possible. They are terrible! They can barely do a straddle leap, and they can't even make firestrands the right way. Who in the world put them into kachina training? They will never be as good as us.

So, over all, my life is not going well. The summer is ending, the Fire Lord is in a terrible mood, Coal is gone, I just keep waiting to get sick, and we have a bunch of new little kachinas-in-training. Things can't get worse, they have to get better.

Right?