...Merry Christmas?

I don't want to sound as incredibly ignorant as I feel, but I'm not sure I've quite got the idea of Christmas...I read on Kendra's blog about a girl who had the son of a god and he saved her...But that's just confusing. I don't really get this whole thing, but since everyone seems to be wishing each other a "merry christmas", I supposed I should say it as well.

Merry christmas!

Arrogance (thoughts/comments/suggestions/advice appreciated)

I'm completely well now. No longer helping with the kachinas-in-training, though. I thought I'd be glad about that, but it turns out I miss the little cretins, even that brat who would never do anything right.

Thanks, SAge, for saying that in the comment. Do try telling that to the others. *looks grim* They seem completely irritated with my skill. Just because I dance better than they do does not mean I'm trying to make them look inferior. Even if they are.

Alright, I'll admit that last sentence might have been out of line. But one can put up with this sort of thing for only so long. Flicker has started ignoring me, and Sparkle is constantly trying to show me up. She can't, and she usually ends up looking foolish trying. Her loss.

Flare is always making snide remarks about me. Everything that comes out of her mouth is designed to bring me down. She disguises the spite by saying she's joking, but everyone knows she isn't. At first it just surprised me, then it hurt me, now it's just getting old. At the very least she needs some NEW insults. She's resulted to recycling .

Firefly is most irritating of all. She turns everything into a lesson on pride. She thinks she's being incredibly clever and subtle, but it's ridiculous. We'll walk into a room with a beautiful tapestry and she'll say things like, "Hmm, I bet this thread in the middle thinks it's better than the ones on the edges."

I like to irritate her back by missing her point: "Well, threads can't really think..."

Or make my own point: "But I guess if threads could think, the middle thread would probably think itself better. Seeing how it's in the middle, the center of the entire design, the focal point of the entire room, the most beautiful thread in the whole piece. I guess it has a right to think itself better."

Even Coal seems glad I'm getting a hard time. He inserts his own mocking comments whenever possible, and readily laughs at Flare's insults. What a traitor.

Comet is the only one who understands. She doesn't seem to think it's such a crime to be a better dancer.

If this is some stupid ploy to bring me down and make me realize my "faults", it won't work. I can swear that to you. If I'm anything at all, it's stubborn.

Now, I understand that I come across as very arrogant. I understand that. But why can't anyone under stand me? IT'S NOT ARROGANCE IF IT'S TRUE! I am a better dancer! I am better than the others! No, that doesn't give me a license to brag, but it doesn't mean I have to pretend to be on their skill level!

Thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I see we have a new follower. Welcome, Cowgirls.

I'm Back

Hello. I'm alright now. There are some pretty significant scars running around my back, but I'm doing alright. I've been back to dancing for a couple of days. It feels great! I missed it so much. The Fire Lord seemed like he was in a fairly good mood as well, so that helped.

I saw Coal in the hallway. He asked how I was doing, but I completely ignored him. He's so smug about this whole thing. It's like he feels as though he's got some sort of control over me. I hate it and I hate him right now. Not for turning me in, just the way he's acting about it...Maybe that doesn't make any sense.

Anyway, I'm able to post now, so you should be hearing from me again soon. Thanks for your thoughts over the past few weeks.

P.S. Gee, Flare (I just read the last post). Thanks for the heartfelt sympathies. I'm really not as bad as she makes me out to be. I don't brag THAT much and, really, is it such a crime to be the best kachina?

Firefly's Hurt Too

If the situation weren't so unfortunate, this might be humorous.

This is Flare, Ember's twin sparktressling. Firefly would be posting, but...Well, may I tell you a short story?

Ember is a very good kachina. I'm sure she's bragged about it before on here. She's really quite arrogant about it, you know. (Sorry, Em, just being honest.) She is talented, though. The Fire Lord always watches her more than any of us. So lately, he's been missing her. You can tell he doesn't get as much entertainment out of us. Today he snapped. Flicker accidentally hit Sparkle in the eye, and Sparkle fell into me, and I tripped and brought Firefly down. The Fire Lord was unbelievably angry and shouted that Ember wouldn't have fallen. He stood up and started throwing fireballs at Firefly. She's the oldest and supposed to be the lead kachina (although Ember's quite bossy so it's really more like her), so whenever we do something wrong she gets blamed. I felt terrible and tried to help her, but Comet and Sparkle told me not to move. The Fire Lord was going to beat Firefly anyway, it would make no sense to get beaten myself. I didn't want to listen to them, but I was very upset and afraid and so I did.

Firefly is in a pretty bad way and she's upset with Ember, seeing how this is all sort of her fault. If she had just followed the rules she wouldn't be lying in bed with a raw back. And if she weren't such a bossy peacock all the time, it'd be easier to feel sorry for her.

I do feel sorry for her though. She's in a lot of pain and I do love her. I feel worse for Firefly though. This wasn't Firefly's fault and she's still being blamed.

The worst part is that now we don't have a lead kachina. Firefly counts beats and decides what routine we'll do. I guess, being the oldest of us four left, it'll be me now, but I've never been confident about all this. I hate our costumes, they make me feel...exposed. I'm not comfortably with the whole thing. I don't know what we'll do.

Keep Ember and Firefly in your thoughts.

Ember Update

This is Firefly, Ember's older sparktressling.

Don't be upset, Ember is not dead, but she can't post because of the pain.

She'd like me to tell you that the Fire Lord had her flogged with fire ropes. She'd also like me to tell you that she is quite lucky. The Fire Lord would have killed her without a doubt if he had heard the entire story. Coal did not tell him everything. He merely reported seeing Ember leaving her room, not that she overheard anything from the spies.

I just want to say how upsetting this entire situation is. Ember is in more pain than I've ever seen her in. She is not even speaking, just tears running down her cheeks sometimes. The Fire Lord did not even send any sort of medicine to ward off infection. I know this is justice, Ember disobeyed the rules, but it's very difficult to watch. I hope to the Fire Lord she recovers swiftly.

Today

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I think I'm going to be sick. I'm shaking, I'm cold, and I've barely said a word this past hour.

The strangers are gone; the Fire Lord has announced that everyone is free to move about the Palace again.

Which means Coal has had his chance to report me.

I've never been so afraid in my whole life. What was I thinking?? How could I have been so foolish as to disobey the Fire Lord? And get caught, too! Of all the stupid things to do, spying on the spies must be at the top of the list.

My eyes are bright green and I'm breaking out into a cold sweat.

Will the Fire Lord kill me? Or only have me flogged? Or branded! I've heard of him doing that. There used to be a page sparker around who had all sorts of brand scars on his back, marking his shame. He was a complete rebel for who-knows-why and he was executed two springs ago.

Surely the Fire Lord won't kill me! I've never done anything like this before! But his temper has been so short of late, and with the talk of rebellion last month or so, I'm sure he's more likely to kill than ever.

But under all this fear there are other feelings. Feelings not timid at all. There are feelings of determination and still curiosity. If the Fire Lord does not have me executed, will I try this again?

...

I can't say. The fear of death is too close now. But I'm still somehow curious, so painfully curious. Coal knows so much, and I know so little. It's too unfair to be borne! I want to know things! I hate being blinded!

Who knows what's to come. Not me.

I do not know of any gods to pray to, but if you do, please pray for me.

And pray also that those words never come back to the Fire Lord. To pray to or worship anything but him would lead to death without question.

Waiting...

I haven't been out of the room today. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm terrified. The Fire Lord's already in a terrible mood. Spying on the spies would be bad enough a crime, but actually overhearing some secrets...

Readers, the Fire Lord could kill me for this. And unfortunately I mean that quite literally. Slaves have been killed for less around here.

The only thing standing between me and certain death is my skill as a kachina. I am quite serious. All of Jeolotoe knows how much pride the Fire Lord takes in his kachinas. We are the finest in the world. Furier has always been home to the finest kachinas in the world. I am particularly fine. Out of the six of us, I'm the best.

Maybe I'm being prideful. Maybe I'm just being realistic.

Either way, I honestly cannot imagine what will become of me. None of us kachinas are saying much. An hour ago a frightened deaf and mute sparktress brought in some bread. Firefly keeps giving me terrified glances. Flare won't look at me at all. Flicker just stares constantly. Sparkle's eyes dart from face to face. Comet stares out the window.

We are all afraid. Afraid for me.

What am I to do?

Commands, Coal, and Caught! A Very Long Post, But Worth Your Time, I Think

I spied.

I may never do it again.

We awoke the sound of the alarm gong, loud and clear.

You know those certain sounds that make your skin crawl, your stomach jump, and something at the back of your mind just flinch? The warning gong is one of those sounds. It means one of three things:

1. The Palace is under attack.
2. Someone inside the Palace has been arrested.
3. The Fire Lord wants to see everyone front and center.

There are different patterns for different emergencies. After flying awake in a mild panic, my first response was deadly quiet, listening for the gong sequence...

The Fire Lord was summoning all Palace slaves.

If you don't know this already, when the Fire Lord calls you to do something, you do it before he's even finished his command. Of course, this command was a bit harder to fulfill on the part of us kachinas; we not only have to react quickly with the rest of the slaves, we're expected to look good while we do.

I've never dressed and combed my hair that quickly. I opted to omit the makeup, which still takes us five minutes at least, even with years of practice. (For all you who are interested in what our daily makeup looks like, click HERE and HERE. Of course, it's more elaborate for special occasions: HERE and HERE.)

After throwing on some clothes, we ran down the hall and into the dining hall. Most of the other slaves were already there. So was the Fire Lord. He so rarely comes into the slave areas; everyone's eyes were green (except the spies', of course).

I won't bore you with the details; in short, the Fire Lord forbade anyone from leaving their quarters until further notice. No one dared to ask how we were to eat, though I'm sure we were all wondering. The Fire Lord didn't even make an exception for spies. That surprised everyone, especially the spies. Their usually unreadable faces held hints of irritations and suspicion.

The Fire Lord dismissed us, and we all hurried back to our rooms.

"Do you think this has anything to do with the strangers?" Sparkle asked, the moment we were back in the kachina keep.

"Of course it does!" I cried impatiently, sitting on the bed. I glanced at myself in the mirror and made a face. I hate how I look without makeup. I've worn it everyday for so long I feel naked without it. I got up and began applying eyeliners and paint.

Firefly rolled her eyes. "Ember, we aren't going to see anyone for goodness-knows-how-long. Your pretty face will be quite wasted."

"Yes, we won't be seeing Coal," Flare said, her voice taunting. I snarled at her and went back to tracing my eyes.

"How are we supposed to get food?" Sparkle grumbled. "I'm already hungry."

"You don't suppose there's any danger, do you?" Flicker asked nervously.

"I expect there's some," Firefly answered, eying my makeup with a frown. "Ember, really, you're using up valuable paint."

I ignored her. I suddenly realized why I was putting on makeup.

I was going out, of course.

I did not intend to follow the Fire Lord's command for once in my life. I was curious, too curious to bear, and I was not going to miss whatever excitement was out there.

"I bet the strangers are..." Sparkle murmured. She didn't really have an answer, we all knew that. She thinks out loud a good deal. We've all learned to ignore her. If she wants us to acknowledge her, she has no problem screaming so in our ears.

"Long-lost relatives," Flare suggested, a gleam in her eye. "The Fire Lord has family!"

We all stared at her with incredulous expressions.

"Really, Flare, everyone knows what happened to the Fire Lord's family," I said with disgust. Flare frowned and shrugged.

"I was only speculating," she insisted. "Where's your sense of fun?"

I smiled inwardly. Oh, I planned to have some fun.

Before long, I finished applying my daily makeup and eyed the window causally. Our room is on the ground floor. The Palace is only one floor except the dungeons below and a tower on either end of the building. The curtains fluttered in the light breeze. (We have shutters, but we only use them in the rain.)

"I have to...um...you know what I mean," I said awkwardly, looking at the window pointedly. Firefly saw through that right away.

"What are you talking about, Ember? We've been here all of a quarter shadowmark," she said. I shrugged.

"My body doesn't tell time," I retorted simply, walking over to the window. "I'll only be a minute."

"Ember!" cried Flare, her eyes gleaming. "What if someone sees you?" She giggled. "What if Coal sees you?"

For a moment, my eyes actually flashed to green.

Oh, really, Ember, I scolded myself. You know very well you aren't really planning to "relieve yourself". I shrugged. "I'll have to risk it."

I leaped easily over the sill (it comes to about my waist) and dropped the yard or so to the ground.

"What if you get caught?" I heard Flicker hiss. Without replying, I took off at a dead run. I didn't know where I was going exactly, but I ended up under the spies' window.

I'm not sure how long I expected that to last. Definitely not as long as it did...

Asher: "I don't know why the Fire Lord's restricted us as well. We already know everything that's happening anyway."

Blaze: *snort* "Keep your mouth shut, Asher. You only know what we want you to."

Coal: (sharply) "Hi! Are we all spies together or aren't we? Leave him be, Blaze, we're all disappointed."

Blaze: (bitter) "You leave me be."

Silence.

Asher: "Do you suppose this has got anything to do with--"

Coal: "Asher, you've got to start connecting the dots for yourself."

Silence.

Asher: "Well, do you??"

Blaze and Coal: (sharp) "YES."

Silence.

Blaze: "Stop fidgeting, Asher, by the Fire Lord, you've got to learn to hide your feelings. In a real situation you'd be discovered faster than a kachina in a barnyard!"

Coal: "Can you really blame him? Waiting on the outside is awfully difficult."

Blaze: "I don't mean to speak unchecked, but I believe this may have something to do with..."

Coal: "The Pale One."

The Pale One??

Blaze: "Yes."

Coal: "Yes."

Blaze: "You know?"

Coal: "I presume."

Blaze: "Dangerous."

Coal: "What isn't?"

Asher: "What?"

Silence.

Blaze: "So those sparkers and man must be...after all this time..."

Coal: "...they found what they were looking for."

Blaze: "So I presume."

Coal: "Are we to stay here?"

Blaze: "Is that question in honest?"

Asher: "What are you talking about??"

Coal: *snickers* "I say--"

He stopped. My blood ran cold.

I heard the sound of a small spark popping. I swallowed. The spies sometimes use some sort of spark-code to communicate when words will not do.

A few spark-pops answered. I pressed myself against the outside wall. I would have run, but living around Coal had taught me one thing: when in doubt, stay still.

My heart pounded. My eyes pulsed bright green. My palms chilled.

Suddenly I was aware of the shadow moving across my head. Swallowing hard, I could take the suspense no longer. I looked up into Coal's face, staring at me from the window. Anger would have been easier to take; the perfect stoniness was worse. He disappeared for a moment and then jumped the windowsill, landing lightly right in front of me. Blaze was right behind him. I tried to stare back at them with the same coldness they mastered, but I knew my eyes were still green.

Coal spoke, "What. The devil. Are. You. Doing here."

Just like that, I felt foolish.

"There are too many questions and not enough answers of late. I wanted to fix that."

"By directly defying the Fire Lord," Coal finished. I shuddered. Yes, that was obvious. And now Coal would turn me in. Of course he would. It was his duty.

"Well, what were you plotting to do?" I snapped. Coal's face was unreadable.

"I don't know what you mean."

My lip curled. "Of course you don't. The injustice of this entire situation. You will report me to the Fire Lord for doing precisely what you were intending to do. Of course, if I were to attempt to turn you in, the Fire Lord wouldn't believe me."

A hint of humor crept into Coal's eyes. "Yes. Now forget everything you heard about our sweethearts and go back to your room. I'll tell the Fire Lord about your little misdemeanor when all this is over."

"Sweethearts!" I scoffed. "Unless one of your sparktressfriends' name is 'the Pale One' I--"

Me and my big mouth. Coal's eyebrow shot up as he heard exactly what he was fishing for. He nodded slowly.

"So that's where you came in." Even with all his spy training, a hint of anger tinted his tone. "We'll be sure to mention that to our Lord as well. I'm sure he'll have some way of making certain you don't forget your place next time. Go."

I swallowed my pride as much as I could and ran.

What a truly horrible day this has been. I had to tell the other kachinas what happened, but I kept the information about "the Pale One" to myself. I'm not completely suicidal, you know.

I do not even want to think about what will happen when Coal tells the Fire Lord about all this. Coal is wonderful, but unfailingly loyal to the Fire Lord in every way. When he is in spy mode, there is little I fear more.

Visitors!

Visitors!

I'm so surprised! There are three sparkers and a man here, and none of us slaves know why.

In the middle of dinner, a page ran into the dining hall and said the Fire Lord wanted us (kachinas). This wasn't particularly unexpected; the Fire Lord had been calling for us at odd hours lately.

So, we went in to entertain him.

He was extremely difficult to please. Every routine we began, he snapped that he had just seen that one. More than a few fire strands were wielded. Comet and I have welts to prove it.

We entertained the Fire Lord for a couple of hours at least. In the middle of a routine, the throne room doors flew open. They slammed against the wall with an earsplitting sound. I know I jumped a foot. My eyes flashed briefly to a frightened green.

Four figures strode quickly up the aisle. My eyes widened. I looked at Firefly and Flare. What in Jeolotoe...? No one comes into the Fire Lord's throne room uninvited.

Three of the figures were obviously fire fairies. Their wings were absolutely huge and all the same shades of red and oranges. The patterns were all quite different, as were their faces. Still, I think they must be related.

The fourth figure was tall and blonde and human.

The Fire Lord seemed surprised to see them, but not alarmed. The strangers came and stood side by side, a few feet before the steps to the throne. They did not bow. They did not speak.

Suddenly the Fire Lord remembered us kachinas.

"Kachinas! Leave us at once."

Bowing hastily, we ran out of the room.

Once in the hall, we broke into a flurry of whispers.

"What in Jeolotoe just happened?"
"Who were they??"
"How could they just intrude that way? Don't they have any manners?"
"Did you see the size of their wings?"
"What's a piece of human like him doing with three sparkers?"
"I think the brunette fire fairy was awfully good-looking, don't you?"

*clears throat* The last comment was from me...

So many more questions! Even than before! I'm sorry for posting twice in a day, but this just had to be written down. I absolutely have to get to the bottom of this...

I know this was probably a very disorganized post, so if you have any questions I'll try to answer them. Also, any suggestions on not getting caught as I try to figure things out?

Coward

I know it's been another long time. I'm sorry. I'm still not sure what's going on the Palace. I've been doing too much talking and not enough doing. I've got to really start snooping.

Coal and Blaze have been back for a few weeks now. They're so different. Whatever is amiss in the Palace is making them act strangely. Coal is back, but it's almost like he's still not here. He doesn't look at us kachinas, talk to us, even smile at us anymore. And there's some new sparktress slave who's after him. I don't know what happened to him in Brightwood, but he's different and horrible. I haven't even attempted to ask him what's going on. I'm sure he wouldn't tell me, if he even answered me at all.

I got upset at a little kachina-in-training last week. She was being unbearably defiant and telling me I was dancing wrong.

Yes, she said that to me. After four hours of her rubbing on my nerves, her accusing me of dancing wrong was the last straw. I ended up yelling at her and making her stay after training to do extra conditioning. No one much cared (except her, of course), but now we're apparently mortal enemies. The little seven-year-old is making my life miserable. She talks constantly during training, refuses to do steps right, and her form is so terrible even Coal could see it! If she ever wants to get anywhere as a kachina, she had better improve awfully quickly. I'm not sure she knows what happens to unless kachinas...I'm not even sure I know...

Tensions, tensions, tensions. I'm curious, but also cowardly. I never thought of myself as being cowardly before, but the idea of actually sneaking around the Palace spying makes my stomach knot. I've no idea what would happen to me if I were caught. I'm sure I don't want to find out...

I'm such a miserable, impatient coward. As usual, any and every comment is welcome.

Determined

It's been a long time yet again. I'm sorry.

Coal and Blaze not back yet, but they should be back within the week. Hooray! I haven't gotten used to his not being around. I miss him.

There is a growing sense of discontent in the Palace. Everyone can feel it, no one can pin-point why or when it started. Executions of peasants are coming at an absolutely alarming rate. Every couple of weeks someone is executed. The spies are poking into everything, in the Palace as well as the village. I've completely given up on keeping a journal, this blog is all I have now. Nothing is secret, nothing is safe.

I can't figure it out. I haven't heard any talk against the Fire Lord lately any more than I have before. Everyone respects and fears him as always. There doesn't seem to be a reason for all the sneaking around and knotting stomachs.

I must assume then that the Fire Lord is doing a remarkable job of keeping the issue secret. Something must be wrong. Unease, executions, and unexplain arrests don't just happen, there's a reason. What's going on?

I know it isn't my business.
I know I should pry into the Fire Lord's affairs.
I know these things are best left to spies and soldiers.
I know good sparktresses don't meddle in things like this.
I know I've been raised better than this.
I know.
I know.
I KNOW.

But I'm curious. Maybe that's a bad thing, maybe it's a good thing, maybe it's just a thing. But I'm going to get to the bottom of all this ridiculous strife if it kills me.

Kachina Assisant?

I've been admitted back into kachina training to help the newbies. I am so upset. Instead of graduating out of the every day classes, now I have to go down to the lower level classes and teach little sparktresses how to do silly little things like splits and...well, let me use Earth terms for the other things, or you won't know what I'm talking about (although if you don't know much about dancing, you might not know what I'm talking about anyway).

Today, we worked on simple adagio routines, and one allegro. One poor sparktress (Scarlet) could not get her feet to land correctly in her fouette turns, and Blazette couldn't even do a proper pas de chat.

I don't know why I've been asked to help teach the younger ones, I'm certainly no more patient than the other. Actually, I'm sure I'm less patient. Firefly ought to be stuck teaching the brats, not me!

I grumbled about this to Firefly, and she huffily pointed out the I actually like being a kachina.

This is true.

I do like being a kachina. If I didn't dance, I don't know what I'd do. Dancing is the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, I suppose it's the only thing that's ever happened to me. I don't remember life before coming to the Palace hardly at all, and I've been told I started kachina training within a week of my arriving here (along with Flare and Firefly, my sparktresslings [sisters]). I suppose the Fire Lord saw a potential dancer in me and set me to learning the ropes right away.

Kachina training was hard from the beginning. Awake a 5am, begin training at 6am. Two hours of intense cardiovascular exercise (building endurance), and hour of stretching and flexibilty, two hours of toning and strength-building exercises, an hour of learning terms, break for the noon meal. Then two hours of education on fire streamers and how to get the colors and temperatures right. An hour of technique and general form, and the ten-hour day ended with a final hour of cardiovascular exercise.

Needless to say, by age seven, four years later, I could:

1. Do 1000 hundred sit-ups in a row without cramping
2. Do a 300 push-ups before I broke a sweat
3. Run around the entire Palace fifty times before I was even winded
4. Tell you how hot a fire strand needed to be for its coloring to be bluish-green
5. Walk across the training room on my hands
6. Do backflips, forward flips, dive rolls, and back hand-springs
7. Tell you precisely what an assemble croise derriere was

All of the above things were on the kachina examination I had to pass before age 8.

And I still love dancing.

Yes, I guess Firefly's right. Perhaps I am the best one for the trainer assistant job.

I Miss Coal

I.

Miss.

Coal.

Blazings.

Is it too much to expect him to send a letter to the poor kachinas stuck in the Palace with nothing to do except dance for the Fire Lord who is always ungrateful and in a bad mood?

*looks horrified*

Did I just say that?

The Fire Lord isn't really ungrateful or in a bad mood, he's just under tremendous pressures lately. I'm guessing. No one will tell the poor ignorant kachinas anything. We're just here to dance and look good and keep quiet and out of the way.

*looks horrified again*

Not that I don't love being a kachina. I really, truly, honestly do. Dancing is the most wonderful thing in the world. It fills me with adrenaline, joy and helps me think deeper thoughts. Moving with the music is like feeling my heart beat. The feeling when I preform a difficult move is like no other. I love being a kachina. I do. I DO.

I just don't like dancing for the Fire Lord.

No, I do. I love the Fire Lord. I guess. I don't know. He just hasn't been very lovable lately. Maybe I would understand if someone would tell us things, but no one tells us anything around here. I hate being uninformed. At least Coal would tell us the general idea of what was going on.

I miss him so much. So much. It's the first thing I realize when I wake up in the morning, the last thing I think about at night. We haven't seen him since the middle of August. That's three weeks! You can't possibly understand how awful it is without him. It's terrible.

And NO, I am NOT in love with him. I am not.

I know this post wasn't anything new, but I felt like I ought to say something.

If you read this, do you have any advice? How can I stop missing Coal so much? How can I get to accept the fact that we're just kachinas for the Fire Lord and no one tells us anything?

(I don't think I will ever accept that, actually. Never. I don't think I even want to try. We're fire fairies, too, even though we're just slave kachinas! We have just as much right to speak up as anyone! Don't we? Do we?)

Terrible

Sorry, SAge, for not posting! *laughs* I can't believe anyone actually likes reading about my life.

I didn't have much to say until a couple of days ago, but now I think I can think up enough for a post.

Well, it's beginning to cool off a bit in Furier. I've been spending a lot more time outside; the weather does feel nice, although I still prefer summertime, and I hate to see it leave.

Unfortunately, aside from the weather, things have not been going well in the Palace at all. The Fire Lord is so on edge of late that no one dares distrurb him for anything.

The sickness that was sweeping through Furier has not gotten worse, but it hasn't gotten better either. Flicker and Firefly got it last week, so now I'm the only one who hasn't gotten it. Hopefully it'll stay that way.

*moan* I'm sorry, but this is going to be a long, complaining post, I think.

Back to the Fire Lord being on edge. I think it's still because of the rebel peasants, but that was weeks ago! The Fire Lord has never seemed this upset about peasants before. And he took care of the resistance, right? So what is there to worry about? I haven't heard anything more about peasants wanting to rebel, so he ought to just relax. No one would dare oppose him, not seriously. It would be pure suicide! And he's not that bad, really. Strict, yes, but a ruler of such a great city MUST be strict. Mustn't they?

Blaze and Coal are still in Brightwood. Reports from them come every few days. As far as I can tell from snatches of conversations and gossip, the woodland elves in Brightwood are living and acting just as they always have been. They're supposed to be very small, rosy and cheerful and not like to make trouble. I haven't actually met one before, though, so I can't tell you first hand.

I do miss Coal. And Blaze, too, although I'm not sure I've completely forgiven him for reading my diary. I hope he hasn't told Coal that I used to think I was in love with him...Anyway, not having Coal around really is just terrible. The other kachinas don't seem to understand me when I say I miss him. I miss him coming around to talk to us; I miss being able to ask him questions about what's going on, or what something means; I miss knowing that as long as he's around, nothing will get past him (he knows everything about everyone. I don't see how it's possible); I miss him chasing us off when we try to spy on him; I miss everything about him!

And I am NOT in love with him! Don't even think that!

We also have a bunch of new kachinas. *rolls eyes* Like they can ever hope to replace us! We're getting better all the time, and that's not even possible. They are terrible! They can barely do a straddle leap, and they can't even make firestrands the right way. Who in the world put them into kachina training? They will never be as good as us.

So, over all, my life is not going well. The summer is ending, the Fire Lord is in a terrible mood, Coal is gone, I just keep waiting to get sick, and we have a bunch of new little kachinas-in-training. Things can't get worse, they have to get better.

Right?

Chaos! Catastrophe!

This is exactly what Flame looks like, only he's obviously not in an iceland, but more like fireland and he doesn't wield a giant snow ax...

I apologize for not posting recently, but Palace life has just been one catastrophe after another.

Catastrophes:

1. Comet got very sick (she's doing alright now).
2. Three more peasants (two humans, one fire fairy) were executed.
3. The Fire Lord got sick.
4. Star Dancer got sick.
5. Flare got sick.
6. A stable sparker asked Flicker if she would court him (we had to say no on her behalf because she was speechless).
7. I got beaten twice in one day, first by the Fire Lord, then by Flame. I might have deserved Flame hurling fireballs at me, though. I did tell his sparktress-friend some things best left unsaid...*grins mischeivously*
8. Coal and Blaze got deported to Brightwood to spy for a while.
9. Life without Coal is horrible.
10. Asher got sick.

Some sort of plague is breaking lose in Furier. It's not deadly, just makes its victim bedridden for a couple of days. So far Flicker, Firefly and I are the only sparktresses in the Palace that haven't contracted it.

Having Coal gone is worse than we all thought it would be. I miss him just coming by and joking with us, and I especially missed him when Flame was chasing me through the halls of the Palace...

So, over all, life is not doing me any favors. Everyone is either in a bad mood or getting sick.

Thanks for reading, hope your lives are going better than mine.

Ideas, Please!

Things have been both usual, and unusual of late.

Sparkle has been too energetic and irritating, Flicker has been spineless and irritating, Comet has been basically invisible, Flare has been getting louder and louder, Firefly has been fine, and I've been restless and paranoid about being the perfect kachina. Basically, things have been perfectly normal.

The Fire Lord told us he fears we've been growing slack in our kachina practices and he wants to see improvement within the week. Never mind that we're the best kachinas out there (as far as we know), he wants better. How can we get better than the best? We're all in perfect shape and look it, too, except Sparkle, who always looks like she could be thinner. Just the other day we took a run around the Palace and through the village. We didn't tire out but once and that was because we were so thirsty. The weather has been unbearably hot lately.

I just don't know what the Fire Lord wants. He's been so irritable lately it doesn't seem like anything will please him! We tried making our style a little different, more like the Julese, but he didn't like that. We tried having new costumes with different colors made, he didn't like that. We tried adding a singer to the music, he didn't like that. We tried adding some new moves, he didn't like that either. He doesn't like anything, yet he insists on "better"! What *is* better? Please, share your ideas!!

Sparkanniversaries

Coal's sparkanniversary is in 12 days. *smiles* We kachinas are trying to think of a way to celebrate it. I don't know if the Fire Lord will do anything special for him. Sometimes the Fire Lord will honor his slaves' sparkanniversaries if they're a favorite of his, or if they've done something noteworthy lately.

The Fire Lord usually celebrates Coal's sparkanniversary for both reasons. Coal is so ridiculously charismatic that everyone likes him, and he's almost always uncovering something secret for the Fire Lord.

On the other hand, the Fire Lord has been in a funny mood ever since the execution a week or so ago. No one knows why he had the peasant executed except for a few important slaves. The Fire Lord has been edgy and distracted this week. He beat Flicker yesterday, and Flare the day before. I'm more frightened of him than ever. I don't know what I'll do to set him off.

Back on the lighter note, if you have any suggestions of ways to celebrate Coal's special day on the 14th, let me know!

Blaze

Sorry it's been a while again. I sort of stopped posting because no one reads this, and it's a pain to write down on here if no one is going to read it. Not complaining, just saying.

On the other hand, this is the one place I can put my thoughts that only the kachinas can read. Coal can't read this, Flame can't read this, Star Dancer can't read this, the Fire Lord can't read this. It's nice to have somewhere private.

Especially after what happened yesterday.

What happened yesterday, you ask? (Well, you didn't ask because you didn't read this, but I'll just pretend someone does.)

Blaze found my journal, and read it.

I'm so upset! That sneaky, coniving, no-good, nosey, SPY! (He actually is a spy.) He had no right to do that! There was no reason for him to! I hadn't been disrespecting the Fire Lord or plotting against him. Blaze had no right or reason to do what he did.

Of course he wouldn't be punished for it even if I went to the Fire Lord and told him. Blaze is a spy, which basically gives him free reign of everyone's everything (excepting the Fire Lord, of course).

All my secret thoughts (on everything from costumes to marriage), wishes, hopes, dreams, childhood crushes (including one on Coal), and bits of stories and poems I've written. He read it all! I can't even imagine why he would do that! Blaze isn't as good a friend to us kachinas as Coal is, but he's still our close friend and fellow Palace-dweller. What could his motives possibly be?

I found out when I caught him putting the journal back. I was shocked for two reasons.

Reason One: the Palace spies almost never get caught red-handed (unless they want to for some reason).

Reason Two: the obvious, he was holding my journal.

By look on his face when I cried out and flew for the journal made it clear that Blaze had not wanted to get caught.

"What are you doing?" I cried, lunging for the journal. I was surprised that I actually caught it, and snatched it from Blaze's fingers. I hugged the little scroll against my chest. "How could you? Did you read it?" Blaze blinked, then regained his composure.

"Of course I read it," he said indifferently. "It's my job to know what goes on in the Palace of Furier."

I scowled fiercely, my eyes glowing red. "That does not include prying into my personal affairs, Blaze! You had no right to do this!!" Blaze crossed his arms.

"I did have a right, kachina," he said, calling me by my occupation, something I hate. It's condescending the way he and the other sparkers say it when they're upset. "I have a right to look into anything I feel necessary. You know that."

"This was most certainly not necessary!" I shouted, stamping my foot. "What did you read? Tell me what you read this instant!" Blaze raised his eyebrows.

"I must tell you nothing," he said. "But since you asked so nicely, I'll tell you that I read it all. Every word, every inch."

Hot, angry tears filled my red eyes. I shouted all the insults I could think of, one after the other. Blaze actually seemed shocked at how angry I was, and it's hard to shock a spy. He just kind of shrugged and left the kachina keep. I slammed the door behind him and cried tears of pure rage for a while.

Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but it was to me. My journal was my one sanctuary, my one private place.

I told Coal what had happened later yesterday, and he actually sided with me. He can be so wonderful like that. He went and scolded Blaze something awful about behaving with integrity and a few other things that I never thought I'd hear Coal say in my defense.

That made me feel a lot better, because something about having Coal on one's side makes the whole world brighter.

Furier

This is what the Palace of Furier looks like, only it's gold instead of...clay.

Bangles are very popular in Furier.

This is what the Fire Lord's throne looks like, only it's much bigger and more solidly gold.

This is what some of the inside of the Palace of Furier looks like: http://www.lynx-travel.com/Vacations/HAL%20Wester%20Aug05/St%20Petersburg/Gold-Gilded-Door-In-Catherines-Palace.jpg

Furier is a busy and slightly exotic city. It's located in the south-eastern part of Jeolotoe.

Weather: Furier is hot almost all the time. During the winter months, it gets to be a trifle chilly, chilly enough to wear long sleeves and shoes, but that's as cold as it gets. Rain doesn't happen terrible often, either, which is one reason why most fire fairies live here. You see, fire fairies can't be exposed to untreated water.

Culture: Furierite culture mostly centers around the Fire Lord. Everyone respects and fears him. More so the Palace inhabitants than just the peasants. The Fire Lord doesn't venture out into the city very much, so many peasants have never even seen him up close.

Furierite culture has a lot to do with dancing. Everyone dances. It's a big thing. Of course, only Palace kachinas are trained in the art, but everyone knows the traditional Furierite dancing.

I've been told that Furierite culture greatly resembles that of Persia.

Inhabitants: Primarily fire fairies, but there are plenty of humans living in Furier, too. I believe we have a couple of woodland elf families as well.

Government: I've been through this before. The Fire Lord is lord over everything.

Main export: Treated water. Our smokers ship it to all the cities that fire fairies live in.

Main import: Fish. Furier is land-locked.

If you have any questions, or if I was unclear about anything, let me know. I do love questions. *smiles*

The Inhabitants of Jeolotoe

Jeolotoe is the world in which I live. It's large, though not so large as Earth, I understand. Jeolotoe has a lot of water. It's mainland is where I live, and then there are many surrounding islands that are inhabited. No one has ever made it across the great Namarian Sea and returned, though, so no ones what's beyond that great body of water. Possibly more land, possibly nothing. No one knows.

I haven't the slightest idea how many creatures inhabit Jeolotoe. I honestly don't. But I can tell you of all the different races living here.

1. Fire fairies, of course! I don't know how familiar you are with us as a race, so let me tell you just a bit about us.

**Appearance: We are not tiny as many foolish pictures and stories say. We're just as big as any human; our shapes and sizes vary as much as anyone's. A fully grown fire fairy has wings that are a bit over four feet tall. I'm finished growing, so I'll use myself to explain things. My wings extend about a foot or so above my head, and go down to somewhere around my knees. My wings are red and orange in a swirled pattern.

A Furierite fire fairy's skin is peach colored, but rosier than a human's. All fire fairies have naturally rosy skin. The fire fairies living up near Brightwood have paler skin, but it's still rosy. The fire fairies living in and around Jules have darker, cinnamon-colored skin, but their cheeks still have a pink tint to them.

Our eyes are the feature that seem to fascinate humans the most. A fire fairy's eyes are like a mood ring. When we are happy or calm, our eyes are blue. When we are afraid, unhappy, or worried, our eyes are green. If we are angry or frustrated, our eyes turn red. If we are sick, our eyes turn clear.

Oh, and I almost forgot! We can't fly. I know, strange, isn't it? I don't know why. Our wings just aren't strong and sturdy enough to keep us up.

**Government: We are ruled by the Fire Lord. The title Lord is passed down through families. Most Lords have a royal family, but the Fire Lord has not married yet, and he has no immediate plans to change that. The Fire Lord makes all the rules and everyone in Furier and Brightwood is expected to follow them. If you don't, you are punished. The Fire Lord has guards that live in the Palace of Furier, outside of it, behind it in the Slave's Village, and in the city, all watching and acting like the police would on Earth.

**Religion: None. We worship only the Fire Lord, and *everyone* worships him.

2. Humans: You know about humans, you *are* human. *smiles* Humans in Jeolotoe are much the same as humans on Earth. I'll describe each group of humans when I talk about the different towns, cities, and kingdoms in Jeolotoe.

3. Woodland elves:

**Appearance: Woodland elves arae all very short, rosy-cheeked, freckle-faced, and typically redheaded. They are also inclined to be fat. They do love their food. Woodland elves are famous for their cooking and feasting.

**Government: The woodland elves live in a forest called Brightwood, which the Fire Lord rules, so their government is basically the same as ours. However, Brightwood is a little ways away from Furier, so their culture is quite different. Woodland elves are very peacful, though, so even though they could probably disobey the Fire Lord plenty and no one would ever find out, they don't.

**Religion: They're supposed to worship the Fire Lord, I guess, but they don't seem to do it much. They don't really seem to worship anyone or anything, except maybe nature itself. I've heard that they have all sorts of tributes to nature. They have a celebration for almost everything: Spring, summer, mid-summer, fall, end-fall, winter, the first snow, and probably more.

3. Faire elves: Fair elves are supposed to be the fairest race of all. Unfortunately, they left Jeolotoe a long time ago and no one has seen them since. They were supposed to be very tall, very beautiful, and very graceful. They could supposedly use magic and had unparalelled reflexes.

4. Merpeople: This is going to take longer than I thought, talking about all the races in Jeolotoe. I'm going to be brief from now on.

**Appearance: Beautiful, lovely voice. Their coloring is different depending on where they live.

**Government: Who knows? It's all underwater! The merpeople are rarely seen (I've never met anyone who's seen one) and they don't care a thing about us, so we don't care much about them. Especially us Furierites. Furier is completely land-locked.

**Religion: The same as for Government. We haven't any idea what the merpeople worship.

5. Dragons: Wise, old, huge, terrifying. Rarely seen, rarely told about. They keep to themselves mostly. We don't even know where they live. Somewhere far west, I suppose.

6. Dwarves: *sighs* Short, stocky, grumpy, bearded, mountain-dwelling.

**Government: They have a king, and some sort of commitee that decide the rules.

**Religion: The dwarves believe they were born out of the stone, and when they die, they will return to stone. They don't worship any god.

7. Pixies: The nasty little mini-things are nearly exstinct, thank the Fire Lord. Any that remain live in Brightwood. They're nasty little things that reek havoc and mischief on all around them. They're cute and their pixie dust can cure just about anything, but they bite something dreadful.

I guess that's about all the races. Some other time I'll tell about all the cities in Jeolotoe (there are eight in the mainland).