Friday, September 11, 2009

I Miss Coal





Is it too much to expect him to send a letter to the poor kachinas stuck in the Palace with nothing to do except dance for the Fire Lord who is always ungrateful and in a bad mood?

*looks horrified*

Did I just say that?

The Fire Lord isn't really ungrateful or in a bad mood, he's just under tremendous pressures lately. I'm guessing. No one will tell the poor ignorant kachinas anything. We're just here to dance and look good and keep quiet and out of the way.

*looks horrified again*

Not that I don't love being a kachina. I really, truly, honestly do. Dancing is the most wonderful thing in the world. It fills me with adrenaline, joy and helps me think deeper thoughts. Moving with the music is like feeling my heart beat. The feeling when I preform a difficult move is like no other. I love being a kachina. I do. I DO.

I just don't like dancing for the Fire Lord.

No, I do. I love the Fire Lord. I guess. I don't know. He just hasn't been very lovable lately. Maybe I would understand if someone would tell us things, but no one tells us anything around here. I hate being uninformed. At least Coal would tell us the general idea of what was going on.

I miss him so much. So much. It's the first thing I realize when I wake up in the morning, the last thing I think about at night. We haven't seen him since the middle of August. That's three weeks! You can't possibly understand how awful it is without him. It's terrible.

And NO, I am NOT in love with him. I am not.

I know this post wasn't anything new, but I felt like I ought to say something.

If you read this, do you have any advice? How can I stop missing Coal so much? How can I get to accept the fact that we're just kachinas for the Fire Lord and no one tells us anything?

(I don't think I will ever accept that, actually. Never. I don't think I even want to try. We're fire fairies, too, even though we're just slave kachinas! We have just as much right to speak up as anyone! Don't we? Do we?)


  1. Everyone has a right to speak their mind. And nothing--nothing as far as I know--can be done about missing somebody, except for the fact that you always have the hope that they will come back.

  2. Not *everyone* has a right to speak their mind. Not here, anyway. Where you live is that true? Must be nice. Here, we can only say what the Fire Lord allows us to.

    I think you're right about missing Coal. I'll just have to wait it out.